stress, stewardship, and the american dream

Warning...I'm not sure where this post is headed but I'm stressed and I need to journal. I don't think I've ever been this stressed before. I wasn't a stressed out bride. BUT I am a majorly stressed out first time home buyer...

We're in the process of buying our first house. We've been looking for a while...a long while. And I fell in love with this house. I guess I would go as far as to say it is the house of my dreams. It is much bigger than what we "need" right now (5 bedrooms, 0 kids....yah, you get the picture), and has a lot of awesome frills like a pool, a fabulous walk in pantry, and an extra loft room.

Our heart's desire is to be good stewards of the abundant blessings God has given us. And so I've been grappling with how I can answer God's call to service, humility, and stewardship while essentially pursuing the American dream. Is it possible? Even if it is and it is okay (which, for the record, I think it is) is this God's will for our lives right now?? Does God want us to have more than we need and even more than we want?

For some reason the Shema has been in my head and on my heart all day. Well, not for some reason, I know God probably put it there. "Hear, O ISrael: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." - Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

I think more important than the size of my house or the awesomeness of my potential pantry...is that I love the LORD my God with all my heart. ALL my heart, EVERY day. And that whether it ends up being this home, or another home, that we sit at home and talk about this great commandment. That we teach it to our children.

My husband and I sat at Starbucks last night and came together about this house stuff, our budget, the future... And there aren't a lot of feelings that compare to uniting as a couple on a tough issue that maybe you've experienced some disagreement on in the past. It is my prayer that he would take us in our weakness and use us for His glory.